Still Have Something Beautiful To Give
by fridamoonbeam
Summary: After the unforeseen death of her birthmother Rachel meets a mysterious man at her funeral. RachelxJesse St. Berry and implied DerekxShelby CoWills


She snapped her neck and it was over.

That's what they told Rachel when the phone call woke her early in the morning. They said she didn't suffer, it was quick and painless. How could they be sure? They weren't there. But Rachel supposed it was a much nicer thought then letting her believe Shelby had been dying a slow and awful death trapped inside an upside down car for hours. Shelby once told her that she was her mother, but not her mom, a part of Rachel always hoped it would be more, and she was hoping Shelby did too. Their day would come, after the drama of high school and how late she came into her life settled. Now that chance was ripped away forever, and even though she wasn't close to her as if she grew up with Shelby as her mother, she still felt like she lost her as if she did. In honor of her, Rachel dressed in a deep purple dress that went down to her calves, with long sleeves and v-neckline. Her dads tended to her every little whim, making her feel as loved as possible, and she was grateful for it.

The synagogue filled with people from around Lima to pay their last respects. The New Directions all came, Santana made no sarcastic remarks, Puck was uncharacteristically quiet, there was no silent disdain from Quinn, if anything she looked guilty, it was all so peaceful. Mr. Schue was kind and Emma told her if she needed to talk not to hesitate. Each one hugged her telling her how sorry they were and to let them know if she needed anything. Somehow this made things worse, since she didn't feel like she should have all of this sympathy since they hadn't been close, and it just reminded Rachel how they weren't. The service was going to start soon, so she spent some time talking to Kurt and Blaine about happier topics just to ease her mind for a while. She excused herself to the restroom when the real case was that she was going to the back room to have her last view of her birth mother. Rachel was putting off looking at her one last time, but she knew it was only a short amount of time left, she had to see her before she would be closed up forever. As Rachel came closer to the door, she heard muffling, like someone was talking, a man. She sighed bouncing on the balls of her feet for a moment, hoping that person would be out of there soon so she could have her privacy. The door at last opened, she was startled and looked up at who had been in there all that time. He was tall, dressed in a long dark coat, an expensive looking one. He was nice looking, with dark hair going gray at the temples, a long nose and a narrow jaw, sort of a _closet vampire _look about him, late 30's to early 40's, she guessed. She held his gaze a moment, wondering who he was to Shelby, and he looked at her in a way that made her feel very self conscience, not like he was a pervy old guy, just weird... He must have not been Jewish since it was against the funeral tradition to look at the body like this, it seemed rude to look at a person who couldn't look back. Though it's not like it was stopping Rachel from doing it. He starred at her for a long second, said nothing, but offered a nod of respect.

Rachel gave him a small polite smile and waited till he was in the hall, closed the door, then took a breath as she opened Shelby's coffin. She looked so beautiful, the makeup covered up the bruises from the accident, making her look like she was only sleeping instead of a wax figure of herself that most dead did. She was also in purple, her signature color, going so nicely with her dark hair and features. Her eyes cast down to see a star made from yellow diamonds hanging from around her neck. She knew Shelby had a thing for gold stars too, even gave her a cup for good luck, but that necklace wasn't there when they were dressing her. She shut the casket, sighing to herself and leaving it to go back into the temple. Her gaze found the tall man in the long coat again, he was sitting near the back with pretty woman with lots of red hair, another man who was also nice looking in an offbeat sort of way with wavy brown hair, a black man who had a very kind face sitting beside him. There was also a really pretty blonde girl with blue eyes who looked a little younger than the rest of them, she was leaning against a really cute man with dusty brown hair and a broad jaw line.

Her attention was taken away from them when she was greeted by a warm embrace she hadn't felt in a long time. "Jesse." she smiled ad returned the hug. "I thought you were still in New York." Rachel said puzzled.

Jesse nodded, "I was, but my mom called me and told me what happened, I had to come back..."

Rachel frowned, as sad as she was, she knew Jesse must have cared a lot about her too, since she was his coach and guide. "Well, thank you so much, I know she would have appreciated that you came."

He smiled "Its not like she would let me slack." Jesse said light heartedly.

Rachel giggled moving a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Plus, I wanted to know how you were doing." he said taking both of her hands

Rachel nodded "I'm all right, it just all seems so surreal and I'm not sure what to think about a lot of things." She looked back at her birth mother's casket wondering what her real feelings for Rachel were.

"She wasn't sure how to express it, but I know she loved you." Jesse stated as if he was reading Rachel's mind, but he also believed it as truth. "She was so proud of you too."

Rachel choked back then leaned onto him again for support and he just held her for a long moment, until he looked up and saw the Rabbi signaling for the ceremony to start. He gave one last squeeze of her hand, "I'll see you soon." he whispered.

Rachel smiled at Jesse before going to take her seat beside her dads, then saw him going to take a seat next to the tall man in the long coat who had been in the room with Shelby. How did they know each other...? Something about the older man seemed familiar, but Rachel wasn't sure where or how she would have come across him before.

The Rabbi was sweet and said only nice things about Shelby, the promise of an afterlife and wise words from Psalms. It came to the time in the service where Rachel was going to give her last gift to Shelby, especially when the Rabbi had been so sweet to let her do so.

"You don't have to do this." her dad Hiram said while her dad Leroy kept his arms around her.

Rachel smiled at them both, and took each of their hands, not going to ever forget who did raise her and love her all along. "Its all right, I want to."

She went to the podium and began to sing softly, filling the room with her voice alone.

"It well may be

That we will never meet again

In this lifetime

So let me say before we part

So much of me

Is made from what I learned from you

You'll be with me

Like a handprint on my heart

And now whatever way our stories end

I know you have re-written mine

By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring

By a wind off the sea

Like a seed dropped by a skybird

In a distant wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you

Because I knew you

I have been changed for good..." she finished, tears streaking her face, catching her breath feeling overwhelmed by it all, and she looked up and the tall man caught her eyes again, looking like he'd seen a ghost. That was all she could handle at the moment as she went to be comforted by her fathers and vaguely pay attention to the rest of the service.

At the cemetery a Kaddish prayer was said after the casket was lowered and covered with soil, those who knew it prayed along. Not long after people left to the McKinley cafeteria for a lunch but Rachel couldn't bring herself to leave staring at the earth where Shelby laid under. After an hour her dads told her to come when she was ready. Jesse stood there offering to be her ride, while the man in the long coat held back a distance from the rest of them. more time passed and Jesse urged "I think they're going to wonder where you are."

Rachel nodded "Probably, can I just have a few more minutes? Please?"

"Absolutely." Jesse said gently making a long walk up the hill where he parked.

And then it was Rachel and the tall man, feeling a little weird they had exchanged so many glances today and hadn't said a word to one another.

"You sound beautiful." he said in a thick deep British accent. She turned around to face him, folding her arms to not feel so cold. "Thank you." she smiled politely. "So... were you and she friends?" she asked finally.

"Yes... it was a long time ago." he explained

"You two were close?" Rachel wondered to him

"For a while we were." he said nodding giving the impression he had no desire to delve much more than that.

Rachel looked down at his hand, he was holding a bouquet of purple orchids. She didn't know how he got those, or if he had been holding them the entire time, but they were so pretty and vibrant. It was becoming clear, not that she had a doubt, who put the star necklace on Shelby. They both caught each others' gazes again, wondering the same question about their connection to Shelby, but also not wanting to know the answer, thinking it would only make it more painful to know the full truth. The wind was filling the silence as it gathered the tale of his coat, and the ends of her hair. Some things were better left unknown...

He walked passed Rachel, knelt down and placed the orchids on fresh dirt above Shelby, touching it one last time. It looked like he forced himself away from it then he too started to walk away. He turned once more, pausing for a moment. "Who ever loves you is going to make sure you don't waste what you have. Rachel, keep singing, and don't ever stop." he said giving advice like he had known her for years, while they had one small conversation. Rachel saw the pain though, he couldn't hide it well.

"I won't." Rachel promised, though she owned him nothing, it still felt right to say and she had no intention to stop.

He disappeared into the trees, and that was the last she saw of him that day.

Jesse pulled up, offering a gentle smile getting out and walked her to the car, opening the door and driving away from all the granite and concrete stones. She looked at Jesse, she'd have to asked him more about the man later, but for now she was happy with the gentle hum from the engine and her head on Jesse's shoulder.

Each time thereafter when Rachel would pass the cemetery she saw there were always fresh flowers on Shelby's grave. She didn't question for a minute who kept sending them, the purple orchids right above the gold star engraved in the granite. They reminded her to never give up on her dream or those who love her.


End file.
